Cubic Zirconium

I have been the protagonist of poetry written in effort to woo or entice me.

I have played the muse to a lyricist.

I have brought strong men to their knees, requesting requite for their love.

But to all these men, I have been a means to an end.

I have been a fantasy.

None of these men have put forth the effort to discover the soul beneath the woman.

None of these men have truly loved ME.

This is the cornerstone and mortar to the walls that surround my sashay and flirtation.

Laminin

I'm the one who holds it all together.

I'm the one who is the glue.

I put the wrong right again.

I sacrifice and I love.

I am strength incarnate.

Even when it is my turn, it is never my turn.

Where is my heart when my heart needs me?

Where is my heart when I need it to be strong for me?

Where is my love when my heart is hurting?

When is it my turn to be vulnerable?

It is not now, for I am strong.

My fortress needs me.

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The Lord is my Strength, I am not my own.

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Calm me, O Lord, as you stilled the storm,
Still me, O Lord, keep me from harm,
Let all the tumult within me cease,
Enfold me, Lord, in your peace.
~ Celtic Traditional

Fury

It is rare that I am furious.

My body doesn't recognize the anger.

I feel like there is a simmering boil in my heart.

I don't know if it's anger or disappointment,

it's both.

They are dancing, making love, and laughing.

Anger and disappointment.

My peace and self-control have them caged,

but they act like burlesque dancers in that cage.

I am not a circus ringleader, I don't know how to tame a lion,

and right now

I feel angry, disappointed and powerless.

I don't want to sleep.

I don't want to speak.

I don't want to shout.

I don't want anything.

I just want to be alone and be angry.

Awake, oh Sleeper!

I once feared the ice.
. The cold and brittle that can surround a warm heart; snuff its flame.

I once feared the chill.
. The coolness of a cavalier attitude.

It was in this frozenness that I laid all my worries and fears about people. I layered and scattered them throughout the tundra.

I had once blazed so hot, that I can remember the magnitude of my fire... though ash now remains.

My heat was blue.

Sometimes, I wonder if that fire can reignite. Sometimes I wonder if I can stoke it.

Sometimes, I enjoy my ice castle as I sit here with my old foes...

Sometimes, I long to burn within.

Frozen suspension is an ambivilant torture beyond a pyre.