We Try To Be Who We Are Not

This was inspired by several people who have expressed frustration with members of the opposite sex and what they have noticed as a pattern in their lives. It was actually a couple emails I sent to encourage them and I have merged together. Happy reading!



Jessie
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We try to be who we are not. Or we try to figure out the intensions of our suitors. We second guess our worth, personalities, etc and tread cautiously. When we do this we are removing ourselves from being defined by God and we are not only defining ourselves (ourself) but we are doing it on a standard we THINK is desireable.

If the old cliches are true: we are our own worse critic or our own worse enemy, then what give us the right to manipulate or create our own definition of our worth? Isn’t it awkward and ironic that when we hold the bar to our own personal gold standard of self-value we always fall short... How sad and sorrowful! To be our worse enemy and yet also be the judge of our own character. No wonder people give up. How liberating it is when you realize that our father is so much more forgiving than we are (hence The Lord's Prayer).



When we find our self-definition based upon God's grace and by being authentic then we live our lives in states of happiness regardless of the circumstances surrounding us. We are no longer defined by who we think others want us to be, but rather, we are content in who we are. How awesome is that! To just be happy being you.

Sounds kind of like a kid, huh? Just because we're responsible adults doesn't mean we can't have a childlike sense of self-worth (not to be confused with a childlike sense of entitlement, which is a confusion quite often mistaken in today's society I fear!).

I know that I succumb to the world's definition of me. I have to remind myself fairly regularly and pray a lot to ask God to help me see myself as the woman he sees. I work with children quite often and you know, I can see SO MUCH potential and worth in them. These beautiful little personalities and hearts and they have NO IDEA of how wonderful they are. They are so wrapped up in the hardships of their little lives; it's so pervasive that they forget that they are just little buds, they haven’t bloomed yet. Doesn't our Father see that same thing in us? He sees our insecurities, finger pointing, blaming, gossiping, etc. and thinks about how if we could just acknowledge our beauty we wouldn't need to stoop to that in order to provide our false sense of worth/beauty. He wants to show us and wants us to THRIVE in it.

When we look at the systematic effects of finding our worth outside of ourselves and outside of God it leads us to our friendships and love relationships. When you spend your time burying your head in the sand in order to avoid the places that don’t live up to your own self-expectations, your true colors eventually show. This is where I find many of my friends and acquaintances when they are in life crises.



And the problem is that when push comes to shove, both you and your partner will feel duped at your phoniness and it will be too late. You really aren’t all the things you’ve claimed to be, things you thought you were, or wanted to be and couldn’t. When it comes out in the wash your lover or friend is so disappointed in who you really are that you turn around and find yourself alone. But you know what else, the people pleaser is going to be just as freaked out as his lover when the true colors show. He won’t even know the person he sees in the mirror: A person without definition when all the socialites waltz away. This happens because often times we fake it so good that we begin to believe ourselves.




What a nightmare that would be! To have times get tough, your true colors show, and it had fooled everyone, even you.

The strong muddle through it, strap up their boots, take their identity crisis head on and find out WHO they are and who they want to be. The weak continue to mask it, hoping they can fake it til they make it.



Your life is not a dress rehearsal. It is not a play where you get to have seven acts playing someone else, and then go on to the next show and new character. Eventually someone sees into your heart and loves you for what they see. How comforting to know that they love all those things about you and they are REALLY YOU. Love God, love yourself, love others, and watch yourself reap the bounty of blessings that follow! You can’t help it, you’re not focused on what you’re lacking or missing – you only have love.